Kyo Sohma: [angrily pointing at Yuki] "Just like I'll beat you one of these days!"
Yuki Sohma: [looking bored] "Wait, wait, I think I've heard this one before!"

Kyo Sohma: "One of these days, I'll make you say you're sorry!"
Yuki Sohma: [looking bored] "I'm sorry."
Kyo Sohma: "Dammit! That's not what I meant! Don't you have any shame?"
Yuki Sohma: [still looking bored] "Yes, I'm ashamed to be seen with you, shouting in public."
Kyo Sohma: "Oh that's it! We're taking this outside!"
Yuki Sohma: [still looking bored] "We ARE outside, you stupid cat."

Shigure Sohma: [singing to himself as he prepares for Tohru's friends to come over] "Highschool girls! Highschool girls! 1, 2, 3! Highschool Girls!"

Shigure Sohma: [singing] "Highschool girls, highschool girls, all for me! Highschool girls!"

Ayame Sohma: [clasping Yuki's hands] "Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!"
Yuki Sohma: [annoyed] "Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake."
Ayame Sohma: "That's right! No matter what happens we'll be together."
Yuki Sohma: "I'll let you drown alone!"

Shigure Sohma: "Good morning, everyone!"
Yuki Sohma: "Good evening is more like it. I think your sleep schedule is a bit off."
Shigure Sohma: "Nope, such is the life of the creative mind."
[notices Kisa]
Shigure Sohma: "Well, who is this pretty girl? Would you like Grandpa Shigure to give you a candy?"
Yuki Sohma: [shouts] "Stop that! The way you say it, it makes you sound like a dirty old man!"
Shigure Sohma: "I see Yuki is being cold as usual."
Yuki Sohma: "And, as usual, you're being an idiot."

Shigure Sohma: "So, anyway, I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is, if it isn't a problem."
Hatori Sohma: "No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening."
Shigure Sohma: "Hmmm? What's this, Hatori? I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru?"
[long silence from the other end of the phone]
Shigure Sohma: [shouts] "I knew it! You naughty, naughty man, you!"
Hatori Sohma: "No, I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything."

Momiji Sohma: "Waaaahhh! Someone! Kyo's picking on me!"

Kagura Sohma: "You don't know what a woman feels like when she's in love!"
Shigure Sohma: "Oh, yes I do! ...Or at least I've felt enough women to venture a guess."

[Kagura is doing laundry and tries to wring out Kyo's shirt, causing it to rip in two]
Kyo Sohma: "Tell me what I think just happened didn't just happen!"
Kagura Sohma: "My love!"
Kyo Sohma: "My shirt!"

Saki Hanajima: [reading "Sigh of a Summer Affair", Volume 1, by Shigure Sohma] "How sad... love, doomed from the start."
Shigure Sohma: "Oh, you're reading that? What do you think?"
Saki Hanajima: [eerily] "You don't want to know what I think..."
Shigure Sohma: [afraid] "Oh... no?"
Saki Hanajima: "...but when is Volume 2 coming out?"

Tohru Honda: "Yuki, you like fall too, don't you?"
Yuki Sohma: "Sure, it's not too hot, not too cold."
Tohru Honda: "Nope, it's just right. And Kyo?"
Kyo Sohma: "What the hell does it matter?"

Yuki Sohma: "Pickled radish in curry is not dinner, it's disgusting."

Hatsuharu Sohma: "You stubborn idiot. What if it was Yuki wearing a girl's uniform?"
[Mokoto imagines Yuki in a girl's uniform]
Yuki Sohma: "Haru, cut it out or I will cut you off."
Hatsuharu Sohma: "Aw, have my words made you angry?"
Mokoto: [still imaging] "It's beautiful!"
Yuki Sohma: "Stop imagining me!"

[Hatori gives Tohru an needle injection, for her fever...]
Momiji Sohma: "Are you sure? Shigure said it hurt really bad."
Hatori Sohma: "Yes, well, I did that on purpose."
Shigure Sohma: "Oh, Ha'ri, you're killing me! Why would you be so cruel?"
Hatori Sohma: "It seemed to be the only way to shut you up at the time."

Kagura Sohma: "I'm here for Valentines, silly! It's a very important day for lovers to be together!"
Kyo Sohma: "You're not gonna find any lover in this house!"
Shigure Sohma: "Kyo, behave please. I don't want the house getting... you know... smashed."
Kyo Sohma: "Damn it! I should've left on that journey sooner! How was I supposed to know today was Valentines?"
Yuki Sohma: "It's called a calendar."

Hatori Sohma: "If it's possible for one person to be hurt by another, then it's possible for that person to be healed by another."

Shigure Sohma: "Tohru's very cute, in a sweet sort of way."
Hatori Sohma: "For some reason when you say that it reeks of something illegal."

Shigure Sohma: "We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'..."