Spike walks into the living quarters of the Bebop.

Spike: Hey guys!
Faye: What?
Spike: I farted...
Faye: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Spike: I went public...I could not hold it in...
Jet: *reads a paper, sitting on the couch* That's nice, Spike...Now my nose burns with a 3rd degree burn from your atomic fart.
Spike: Glad to be of service.

Meanwhile...in the bonsai room

Ed drenches all the bonsai plants in gasoline, then lights a match and ignites them.
Ed: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! BURN BA-BEH! WOO! *stereo is playing "Burn Baby Burn"*

Meanwhile, back in the Common Room

Jet: I found a bounty...*types on the computer*
Spike: What is it?
Jet: Well, it's-
Faye: A 50% OFF SALE AT SEARS! EEEE! *squeals and runs out of the bebop*
Jet: WHAT!? OHMYGOD! WAIT FOR ME FAYE! MY UTOPIA OF POWER TOOLS AWAITS! AHH! *runs after Faye*
Spike: *eyes wide* Nyah, damn...I'll just have to look for the bounty myself. But right after I beat the Covenant in a shootout *plays his X-BOX*

Meanwhile at Sears

Faye: *zooms about, looking at clothes and grabbing some*
Jet: *zooms about, looking at power tools and drooling at them*
Faye: Ahhhh, I'm pretty much a happy camper. *has a fair amount of clothes and walks to the register*
Vicious: *wearing a sears uniform* Will that be all for today? *starts ringing up the clothes*
Faye: AHH! VICIOUS!
Vicious: What? This is my day job. I gotta make some woolongs, right?
Faye: But still.... AHH! VICIOUS!
Vicious: *tears up* So!? I may be a bit different from you guys! But you don't have to be so MEAN about it! *runs away crying*
Faye:...Oh well! *runs off with the clothes*
Jet: *follows with his arms full with tools*

Spike walks into a bar

Spike: *walks up to the bartender* I heard about you, your Carlos...I heard you know about, "Hanky Spanky Jones"
Bar: *goes silent after hearing the name*
Carlos: *in a hushed tone* Ci, Senior. I have heard about him...his name is Frankie Jones. A man from the "Chunky Monkey Kitty Clan" he's very dangerous.
Spike: How does he execute his victims? Any special attacks I should look out for?
Carlos: He shoots his victims in a special way...then, after your down, he brutally spanks you on the butt until your inevitable death....then he pees on you.
Spike: I should have never asked. Where can I find him?
Carlos: He should be at the playground in Hellsing park.
Spike: Ah, yes...Hellsing Park. A place with a silly name pun from another anime. Thanks, Carlos.
Carlos: No prob....I shall fart in your salute...
Spike: OH GOD, NOOOOOOOOO! *runs out of the bar*

Meanwhile, in the Shady Oaks jailhouse

Jet: *sits in the cell* Damn, who'd know shoplifting would be illegal on this planet?
Faye: I was so clueless...I should have bought that cute tank top when I had the chance. *starts to cry*
Jet: Man, I'm so ashamed with myself that I'm an old fart, and I still haven't gotten laid yet. And yet, I landed in jail with a name that should be used for an insane asylum. What shall we do, Faye?
Faye: I think we should escape, so that we won't end up in the most sickening situation that this author is thinking of. Besides, this is not how the episode ends!
Jet: Your right- *picks up the big, strong and nasty bald man that he's sharing the cell with, beside him, and smacks him against the wall like a sack of rice, breaking the wall down* Let's blow this joint!
Faye: Ok. *smokes a joint* COUGH!
Jet: No! I mean let's get outta here!
Faye: What? COUGH! Ok. Right behind you.
Jet and Faye run out of the jail cell

Spike walks through the Hellsing Park.

Spike: Aw, hell. Where is he?
Voice: The question is....where is SHE!? BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*A woman with long, brown hair and sparkling gold eyes. Jumps down in a pink leather outfit in high heel shoes, when she lands, the heels on the shoes breaks, and Frankie falls over*
Spike: I was wondering when that was going to happen. Most women in this show wears high heel shoes. And in that case, I win a 50 woolong bet with the director.
*a big hand comes down and gives Spike 50 woolongs, the hand disappears and some annoyed grumbling follows*
Frankie: Bah.....That was just a normal slip-up. But now that I'm up again, I can KILL you now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Spike: Oh crap! *takes out gun and gets ready to fight*
Frankie: *takes out a toy gun that shoots rubber darts and shoots Spike in the forehead*
Spike: *takes the dart off* AHH! YOU RETARD! That hurt!
Frankie: What!? How can that be!? It worked on other people before!
Spike:...You retard. I have no time for this- JUDO CHOP! *hits Frankie in the neck, knocking her out, and drags her to the police station*

Back at the Bebop

Faye: *sits on the couch, smoking and reading a Victoria secret magazine*
Jet: *quietly peeks over her shoulder*
Ed: *walks in, covered in soot, clothes half burned, carrying a chainsaw* We're having the dog for dinner tonight, is that alright?
Faye: Yea, it's alright.
Ed: OK! *walks to the kitchen*
Spike: *walks in and sits on the couch across from Faye and Jet*
Jet: Hey, Spike! What did ya do today?
Spike: Hm? Oh, nothing.
Jet: Oh, ok.
Faye: Oh great. Now a quote is going to show at the bottom of the screen and some depressing song is going to play.
Spike: Hey! Instead of that, I know which band can play the ending theme. Tom Cochrane! Take it away, Tom!

Tom Cochrane and his band appear in the Common Room and starts playing "Life is a Highway"

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside every darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate, break down the garden gate
There's not much time left today

CHORUS:
Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long

Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you know like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights
Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man
There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough, this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

CHORUS x2
There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once but now
We look it in the eye

There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there wehn the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

CHORUS x3

The End

James Daly, 2004